09-28-2011, 04:11 PM
(09-22-2011, 12:14 AM)AvariciousApathist Wrote: slammed the door a littleI do like this AA. I think the reason why people are having trouble with the last line is because at the beginning of the poem, you make it a pretty clear first-person POV of the narrator ("slammed the door a little too hard this time...") so for the rest of the poem the reader has been conditioned to expect the narrator's subjective interpretation of events: the narrator would think he was the winner, and the other person the loser. Or perhaps the narrator would think they both lost, and would be sarcastic about it, thus the "winners" line. I took it as the latter, but I see how the POV switch from "subjective & involved" to an observation that would be classed as "semi-objective & detached" would lead to the confused meaning.
too hard this time.
shattered pane
gave way to banshee breaths,
humiliating mud-fight
winners
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
