09-28-2011, 12:25 PM
I can find no fault with the piece... the opening is wonderful, every line is nicely contained and spot-on, even the lack of caps adds both an elegance and a seedy feel to the piece. One of the most solid works I've read. If I absolutely had to nitpick, in the last line of stanza 6 I suppose "prosecute" could be replaced with a term that's a bit more arresting (no pun intended), like "throw the book", but really it's a non-issue. The poem is strong and wonderfully clever as is.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?