Newbe post

[only rob]

Apples and Oranges




It's all apples and oranges
stemming from I could care less
if there is fruit in my Snapple
or a sty in god’s great eye
regardless of the ill will of potentates
or some tortured girl, cutting
herself to feel real.

There is smoke wafting
over every no smoking sign in Wisconsin
today because somebody let a
Minnesotan play with matches
but the sign says yield
so I stop beside some generic
cornfield and bow
like a supplicant to Cargill
on the very last tuesday.

DEERE! claims the green monster
that just combined a mile of corn, two
raccoons, three fawns, and an opossum
into a slurry that blossoms in a
plume of ethanol over Ameriky’s
belly.

"Never mind," my momma said -
so I refined the arts of subterfuge
and the dance of mayhem
to goose the huge president
and all those other denizens
of the façade of prosperity
as if pauperism were
a poetic device.

Once, twice, hell, thrice, I
selected man gods to follow
as if the fruit of the womb
of the stars could heal all my scars
but in the end, I could not
mend my sight of men that
practice such tomfoolery
that gods may surely
not be made of them

but it's all apples and oranges
to me.

[Leanne]

You manage a very difficult balance between the pastoral salt-of-the-earth and the lofty philosopher -- each verse made me smile, then stop and think a little while before moving on to the next. (I know I'm basically evil, but the Deere stanza made me the happiest -- something about rodent slurry that's disgracefully appealing to me )

In the first verse, is "sty" deliberate (which works as a neat pun) or should it be "stye"? Or do you Americans bugger up yet another perfectly well-spelled word? :p

Really enjoyable, Rob, thanks for the read.

[billy]

it feels like a good train of thought. each stanza stanza alone. (i couldn't resist the play on words, but it is so)
I had to look up Deere. I'm glad i did because it makes the verse shine.
i like the "so i" who it reminds me of escapes me, but it becomes personal even to the reader. nitty picking i know but i thought 1 but too many.
also; would 'over Ameriky’s' work better on the line below it?

great read, thanks.

[addy]

Great stuff. I love your use of of "it's all apples and oranges" to cap of the start and end... it says I-barely-give-a-fuck, but in such an evocative and ambiently colorful way. It sets the tone of your piece nicely, where you portray a bone-deep earthiness in a way that's almost fragile. The POV narrator really sold the piece.

My only nit, if I absolutely had to pick one, would "as if pauperism were a poetic device" read well as "with pauperism as a..." instead? Just a suggestion though.

Thanks for the read

[Patrick Traveler]

The title got me 'cause I grew up on small farms in Washington (apples) and Southern California (Oranges) so I came to your poem with some nostalgic feelings, but as I plowed through the polemic I was brought back to reality and in 2011 the numbers don't crunch for most small farmers. But I still love the dream so I enjoyed the snipes at Minnesotans with matches and Cargill (your third stanza critter slurry is genius funny). I give you a C for the politics and an A for the way you put words together and the humor.

[abu nuwas]

For me, the Deere verse, and the idea of pauperism as a poetic device stood out. The whole thing did have the feel of comic/serious/ furious. I'll give a B +, so that I have somewhere to go later!

[Ca ne fait rien]

Our area is full of huge Deeres at the moment , displacing rather smaller deers and no doubt gobbling up some even smaller ones along with the other little animals. It is the way of harvest. I am getting in the poem the smell of diesel , the mechanics versus nature thing. There is that waving field of generic corn to wax bucolically (?) lyrical over, suffused with the smoke of machine and burning. The gods of the earth and sky are always going to win in the end, no matter how huge the machines and how much oil is burned. COntrats and conflicts, but in the end they are the same. Just struck me, that the two poems I have commented this evenng have a form of 'pauperism as a poetical device'- the poor, poverty. Poetry wears no shoes in the dustbowl.

[only rob]

Our area is full of huge Deeres at the moment , displacing rather smaller deers and no doubt gobbling up some even smaller ones along with the other little animals. It is the way of harvest. I am getting in the poem the smell of diesel , the mechanics versus nature thing. There is that waving field of generic corn to wax bucolically (?) lyrical over, suffused with the smoke of machine and burning. The gods of the earth and sky are always going to win in the end, no matter how huge the machines and how much oil is burned. COntrats and conflicts, but in the end they are the same. Just struck me, that the two poems I have commented this evenng have a form of 'pauperism as a poetical device'- the poor, poverty. Poetry wears no shoes in the dustbowl.

So good to see you here...

[cvillelisa]

I love all of it -- except the DERRE! It rang too too ... what word am I looking for "gimicky" perhaps. I think you could do with out it. And the rhyme of possums with blossoms is gorgeous. So is the word slurry.

[grannyjill]

I'm too idle to look up DERRE - but assume it is some kind of giant harvester? I enjoyed ever minute of this read... are you one of those poets who are gifted with 'straight from the brain to the page' type of poetry? That's how this reads, it simply flows along without a hiccup anywhere.

Delightful.

[John Holland]

We all have worshipped a few man gods I think. From Dylan to The Boss... Dempsey to Tyson. I see the green John Deere at work (I've driven a couple) and all the little apples and oranges neatly stacked. Some fine imagery there.

Pauperism may not be a poetic device, but it helps to have been there I think.

I noticed the sty word too (another Aussie!). But sty is used as often these days as stye. I'm just glad you didn't use "hordeolum".