(content) just fiction

[billy]

i love it jack, i take it this was brought about from the sewer posts?

i really think this a keeper.
i do have one nit on what i think is a very publishable poem.
the poem has no grammar and it works really well without it. even the small ee cummins's small i's work a treat.
but that being the case, would each part of the following lines read better on their own line in order to save the syntax issues?

open the peephole snap her bra
fill a tissue drain your beer

it quite a powerful read, the hustler couplet i love as i do some of the others lines.

thanks for the read