09-27-2011, 03:28 AM
Hi Stef,
Quite a beautiful scene you've captured here. I particularly like the second part and the white space seperating the two. To me, it gives the poem a little breathing room and designates an impending change. I love 'golden path on the moonlight water', but I wonder if golden path could stand alone without explicately naming the moon as the source. Also, I think 'skips' would be a better word than 'skims' IMO
An interesting read that satisfies thoroughly. Thanks for sharing
Quite a beautiful scene you've captured here. I particularly like the second part and the white space seperating the two. To me, it gives the poem a little breathing room and designates an impending change. I love 'golden path on the moonlight water', but I wonder if golden path could stand alone without explicately naming the moon as the source. Also, I think 'skips' would be a better word than 'skims' IMO
An interesting read that satisfies thoroughly. Thanks for sharing