Holy smokes! I disappear for a couple of days and all of a sudden the site's gone hyper... I'm trying not to indulge my paranoia by thinking everyone only comes out to play when I'm gone... 
Thank you all very much for your input and suggestions -- this is a first draft only, so it will most likely have to be transformed a little. Aish, I will definitely consider that line break -- I get a little precious about mixing up punctuation and such, but sometimes simpler is better. Rob, I quite like "ages"... but the complicated tables/division needs to stay, I have to have my fix of puns you know Suggestions are never useless, I love them all. John, how could you forget? :p Thanks for having a look. Patrick, I may need to address some line breaks and rearrange the words a little in that second stanza -- I want to keep most of the main words intact but thank you for pointing out difficulties, that's excellent feedback. Edward, I didn't even think of old epigrammatic Martial, though perhaps I am a satirical elitist git of the less enduring kind and I can't escape such comparisons!
Thank you all very much for your input and suggestions -- this is a first draft only, so it will most likely have to be transformed a little. Aish, I will definitely consider that line break -- I get a little precious about mixing up punctuation and such, but sometimes simpler is better. Rob, I quite like "ages"... but the complicated tables/division needs to stay, I have to have my fix of puns you know
Suggestions are never useless, I love them all. John, how could you forget? :p Thanks for having a look. Patrick, I may need to address some line breaks and rearrange the words a little in that second stanza -- I want to keep most of the main words intact but thank you for pointing out difficulties, that's excellent feedback. Edward, I didn't even think of old epigrammatic Martial, though perhaps I am a satirical elitist git of the less enduring kind and I can't escape such comparisons!
It could be worse