Deer on Mill Hill at Nightfall

[billy]

i know you like tight poems but for me it could do with either a little grammar of a bit of enjambment to aid the read.

Running home to beat the dark
across an ocean of meadow grass
knees rip ankles turn and tangle either ',' after rip or move ankles turn etc to it's own line.
boots stumble the furrows is 'the furrows' needed considering the next line
along the stubble field.

On Mill Hill the earth is ploughed
already chain- harrowed. Blood pounds why the space after the hyphens?
seabreezes steal breath
feet heavy clay- clarted i like clart though it feels a bit to erudite for such a down to earth poem
stop a moment gauge position.

Up wind
three roe deer break cover
from twisted whitethorn bushes is 'bushes' needed?
freeze on the brow
black against the violet sky
poise on the point
of that split second
that separates
Day from night.

.

i thing the 2nd verse is excellent, the imagery through out the poem is good. if it weren't for the first line I'd have of thought it about a poacher. great slice of nature
thanks for the read.