09-23-2011, 05:07 AM
Hi,
Some of what you're writing about is foreign to me, literally. I'm a sort of uncultured, redneck, you see.
'clarted' is a new one for me, thanks for a new word. Regardless, I found this poem taking me back to my childhood, here in Alabama. I've known the weight of thick mud on my shoes as I plodded home from some chore or game quite well. And in the third part, the serendipitous sighting is made to seem all the more breath-taking because it comes so suddenly while we are busy 'gauging position.'
I stumbled a little with L3. It seemed like it needed commas. (I see that you haven't used any punctuation other than full-stops). Just my observations as a newb
Thanks for sharing.
Some of what you're writing about is foreign to me, literally. I'm a sort of uncultured, redneck, you see.
'clarted' is a new one for me, thanks for a new word. Regardless, I found this poem taking me back to my childhood, here in Alabama. I've known the weight of thick mud on my shoes as I plodded home from some chore or game quite well. And in the third part, the serendipitous sighting is made to seem all the more breath-taking because it comes so suddenly while we are busy 'gauging position.'I stumbled a little with L3. It seemed like it needed commas. (I see that you haven't used any punctuation other than full-stops). Just my observations as a newb
Thanks for sharing.