high todd thanks for the feedback, i did a soft edit on the banshee line by moving the 'and'
at this point i don't want to do too much of an edit till the form meister's had a look.
i id think your point was a good one though so i thought what the heck.
it now reads as;
Black winds breed banshees and blow between the pain;
i also placed the comma after faceless.
Fo'c'sle is short for forecastle which became shortened to Fo'c'sle
Fo'c'sled i'm sure isn't a given word, i used artistic license with it and made it forecastled
shipwracked is also artistically licensed. many inner city dwellers feel as though they've been left to rot at the bottom of the social sea, wrack is an old way of saying wreck i know it's archiac but i liked making use of it in such a way. will think about changing it though if it's too much of a stumbling block
at this point i don't want to do too much of an edit till the form meister's had a look.
i id think your point was a good one though so i thought what the heck.
it now reads as;
Black winds breed banshees and blow between the pain;
i also placed the comma after faceless.
Fo'c'sle is short for forecastle which became shortened to Fo'c'sle
Fo'c'sled i'm sure isn't a given word, i used artistic license with it and made it forecastled
shipwracked is also artistically licensed. many inner city dwellers feel as though they've been left to rot at the bottom of the social sea, wrack is an old way of saying wreck i know it's archiac but i liked making use of it in such a way. will think about changing it though if it's too much of a stumbling block