09-09-2011, 01:34 AM
Hi Rob,
Welcome to the forum. I'll start by saying that you make me a little jealous. Your writing is beautiful and the images you convey were not only well thought out, but provided me with nice surprises throughout. It may just be lack of understanding, but I didn't get 'when you madness yourself.' Did you mean 'madden' instead of 'madness'? The next line about 'odd'ing yourself from your friends makes me think that both uses are intentional, but while 'odd' works for me, 'madness' doesn't. Jmo
It's great to see you posting. I am brand new at poetry so take my criticisms with a grain of salt. I really enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing.
Welcome to the forum. I'll start by saying that you make me a little jealous. Your writing is beautiful and the images you convey were not only well thought out, but provided me with nice surprises throughout. It may just be lack of understanding, but I didn't get 'when you madness yourself.' Did you mean 'madden' instead of 'madness'? The next line about 'odd'ing yourself from your friends makes me think that both uses are intentional, but while 'odd' works for me, 'madness' doesn't. Jmo
It's great to see you posting. I am brand new at poetry so take my criticisms with a grain of salt. I really enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing.