She the Night

[billy]

i almost passed this by after reading what it was about then i thought fuck it.

She is seedblown longpause sit and sigh
to underline, not undermine
to redefine
the seedblown longpause is masterful, the title tells us "she' is the night and it helps us see a great image.

She’ll try
with subtle slaps to empathise
through murky mists most asinine
take tea and scones with Frankenstein,
Dorian and I
i love the use of shelly (m) and poe, as companions for her.
and the scone image was one also used in con air though with a different monster. the use here is much more poignant

Feet once muddied stride across the sky i take muddied as being the twilight or dusk and for me it works really well of course it's probably wrong
head bowed, I realise
that she, like swan knight mystic Lohengrin
can never speak of powers near divine
to soothe and salve; her shine
is shaded by innocuous disguise

My sighs and I
to compromise
shall bind her with poetic line
and thus enshrine
(parenthesise)
this punctuated paladin
and idolise
her phrases fine
while she, all elements
centrifuged

becomes white


space

promise

i like the way the 1st person tries to tie the night (her) down and in some way make her last forever. i thought about the use of paladin and at first felt it too connected with Charlemagne but what better to tie the night down and in some way rescue it than a knight.

i also like the format at the end as though night is fading and dawn is arriving,

i really can't fault it leanne. to do so would make me look crasser (is that a word) than i already am .

great read.