09-06-2011, 10:48 PM
I wonder if this poem is completely symbolic. While reading, I felt like the 'pioneer' theme was more like a fantasy and the reality was probably more average, tho no less spectacular.
As far as the wording, it's nicely entertaining and NOT repetitive at all, but I kind of got lost from the opening two lines to the rest of that verse. It didn't seem to be a complete thought, but felt more like a slideshow of the woodland antics.
^my favorite line, but does it need a comma after 'love you again'?
I think it's a nice piece. Good work.
As far as the wording, it's nicely entertaining and NOT repetitive at all, but I kind of got lost from the opening two lines to the rest of that verse. It didn't seem to be a complete thought, but felt more like a slideshow of the woodland antics.
Quote:love you again like faith renewed,
build fires then chant your name,
^my favorite line, but does it need a comma after 'love you again'?
I think it's a nice piece. Good work.