Fragment

[heslopian]

If they'd pulled her from the stove
she would have been a vegetable,
drooling at the love gifts made
by poor Hughes and her mother.
I imagine Sylvia able to form
but one phrase, over and over:
"we're through, we're through..."

[Leanne]

Yes, but a roast vegetable

I would like to see just "Sylvia" rather than "Sylvia Plath" in L5 -- after all, it's pretty obvious who this is about, and Sylvia sounds more intimate, especially since you call Ted "Hughes".

The last line is great -- the "we" could refer to Sylvia and Ted, or Sylvia and her mother, or Sylvia and life itself (or even just Sylvia and the oven )

Nice bit of musing, Jack.

[heslopian]

Thanks for the feedback, Leanne I'll get rid of the surname in a mo.

[billy]

If they'd pulled her from the stove
she would have been a vegetable, i love this line
drooling at the love gifts made
by poor Hughes and her mother.
I imagine Sylvia able to form
but one phrase, over and over again: Is again needed
"we're through, we're through..."

i really like this,
if i had a nit it would be the 2nd 'we're through'
in the line above it you say over and over again.
then you show it. twice.

it didn't really spoil anything in the poem but i'm just wondering what you think?

a great little write that sad yet makes me smile

thanks for the read

[heslopian]

I see what you mean, "we're through" doesn't need repeating, but I think it lends a more haunted atmosphere. Like an echo in a corridor. I'll get rid of "again" in a mo. Thanks for the feedback Billy

[Leanne]

I agree that "again" can go, but I do like the repetition of "we're through", I think your echo idea is spot on.

[billy]

so you chose her over me, how could you jack

[heslopian]

I chose a woman over a man. Who would have thought it

[billy]

in retrospect the echo does add an extra dimension

[Wildcard]

I can only comment that I'm grateful for an introduction to Sylvia Plath. I am slightly embarrassed to say that I've never heard of her or Ted Hughes before reading this. After thirty minutes of googling and a lunch break full of reading some of the poems from Ariel that I found online, I am even more intrigued.
A great man once told me, 'The more you learn, the more you realize how much you have yet to learn.' This is definitely true for me recently. These new avenues of thought and the opportunity to discuss them with the (obviously) more learned moderators and members here is much appreciated.

[billy]

take a peek round the reference section of the forum,
it's still a work in progress but you'll find lots of reading material there.

[heslopian]

I can only comment that I'm grateful for an introduction to Sylvia Plath. I am slightly embarrassed to say that I've never heard of her or Ted Hughes before reading this. After thirty minutes of googling and a lunch break full of reading some of the poems from Ariel that I found online, I am even more intrigued.
A great man once told me, 'The more you learn, the more you realize how much you have yet to learn.' This is definitely true for me recently. These new avenues of thought and the opportunity to discuss them with the (obviously) more learned moderators and members here is much appreciated.

Good luck on your discovery of Sylvia Plath The good thing about her is that you'll either love her or hate her eventually. There's not much middle ground.

[Wildcard]

Thanks. One question: Where to start, in your opinion. The popular stuff or the early stuff?

[heslopian]

I'd recommend beginning with Ariel. That's where her best poems are collected.

[Wildcard]

Thanks. Have I mentioned that I like your style?

[heslopian]

Thanks