Derailed

[heslopian]

Please step away from the door
this train is about to depart
if you have no destination in mind
there is no end to this line

the world outside my window
blurred with a thickening frost
standing waves of moving places
imposed and distorted my thought Would this line work better if you made "thought" plural? As it is it seems oddly truncated.

Please move your bags aside
the doors cannot close
don't contemplate those needful things Excellent line. Feels knowing and classical.
and surrender to all your woes

I saw distant conviction
A dilapidated structure
chemically stained with human regret
resonating as it ruptured Great verse. Reminds me of Philip Larkin's poem "The Whitsun Weddings." "Chemically stained" is an excellent choice of words.

Please remain seated
I think the conductor is lost
he was reaching for a map
and pressed the emergency stop Nice and crisp stanza.

born and bred a thundering steed
I was forged with fire
I ride alone down these tracks
leaving behind what you desire. Is the full stop needed? The poem doesn't have any other punctuation so I don't see what purpose it serves. Other than that a brilliant close ckeo. Fiery and mythical, a fitting end to the urban mundanity which precedes it.

Good poem ckeo, thanks very much for the read.