The Wet Spot

[ICSoria]

Your shadow dancin, on my wall
chips and scars, where the headboard falls

Toil my belle, with drunken intention
i'm intensified, by your separation

You engulfed my bed, with moisted heat
now we're laying still, on love stained sheets.
~ck~

Two words stand out: "laying" (you lay bricks--you lie down)

"moisted" (moistened)

Beyond that, I know you have this picture in your head of this particular experience you wish to share, but it will not necessarily translate as easily to your readers without more effective visuals...not that I care for an explicit description mind you...I prefer the subtle approach myself.

Sid