Eggshell Dance

Eggshell Dance

Aish

Raven Queen

Posts: 259
Threads: 45
Joined: Jul 2011

07-25-2011, 06:12 AM

This is only a drive by critique, I will return...

S1 L1 'on the edge' is erroneous.

'sophistry' and 'enigmatic' are two of my personal word obsessions, so I adore your inclusion of them.

Verb tense changes in S2.

PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?

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Messages In This Thread

Eggshell Dance - by ICSoria - 07-25-2011, 05:50 AM

RE: Eggshell Dance - by Aish - 07-25-2011, 06:12 AM

RE: Eggshell Dance - by billy - 07-25-2011, 12:57 PM

RE: Eggshell Dance - by ckeo - 07-25-2011, 05:26 PM

RE: Eggshell Dance - by heslopian - 07-25-2011, 08:18 PM

RE: Eggshell Dance - by ICSoria - 07-25-2011, 11:00 PM

RE: Eggshell Dance - by Leanne - 07-26-2011, 05:16 AM

RE: Eggshell Dance - by ICSoria - 07-26-2011, 05:53 AM

RE: Eggshell Dance - by addy - 07-26-2011, 10:56 AM

RE: Eggshell Dance - by ICSoria - 07-27-2011, 01:23 AM

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