Bisbee Blue (Latest Revisions)

[billy]

He long ago lost track of just how many
West Coast minutes passed, while gazing at
those eyes of liquid Bisbee-Blue. Each time
she passed, on lissome steps to top his day
like Crème Brule. The titillating shade
of Summer's evening hue would gently tease him
as he watched it filter through a sheer
sundress--delineate the best
of all the assets she possessed.

ICSoria
©2011

the enjambment feels off to me at the end of L 7.
for me you have a good free verse poem ( i did see the last two end rhymes but ignored them) with original images. i love the bisbee blue instead of turquoise, the internal rhythm in places is excellent, day/brule to name one.

you used passed twice, could another word be used to negate the repetition?

a great upbeat love poem. jmo

thanks for the read.