Metamorphoses

[Todd]

Hi Leanne,

This is just gorgeous writing. You leave me nothing to critique in my critique.

When you and I were summer, and the sky--This first line is so nuanced. I love the idea of you and I being summer but with the line break you start by giving the impression that one is summer the other the sky. Your enjambment thoughout makes this poem sing.
was greyer than the green that grew between--love the internal rhyme of green and betweeen and I also loved the greyer than the green
my linden and your oaken strength, serene,
eternal as the shadows passing by,--I don't often think of shadows as eternal. This makes me think of the shadows cast byprimordial forests or something of substance
you whispered me a question; my reply--great tension with the line break
was lost upon the winds of might-have-been,--awesome
for change must come to every tranquil scene
and gifts from gods are not what they imply.--Now a little bit of bite in the softness of the piece

Forever is a dream lost to the dawn--sort of like a Midsummer Nights dream. The idea that the glamours can last in the evening but are dispelled when we can see clearly beneath the sun
and temples fall to dust beneath the years,--Interesting that it's temples which means also that the gifts of these gods is long forgotten like their worshipers
as roses split the stones and oceans dry;--love the images and the crisp way you state them
yet boughs will bend and brave the tearing thorn
to claim the scars as treasured souvenirs,--works very well with tearing thorn. The love is worth the pain that comes when summer ends
and laugh until the summer, you and I.

A memorable piece. Thank you for sharing it. I have no nits to discuss.

Best,

Todd[/b]