caffeinated

[billy]

I do not have the heart for war,
and yet peace finds restless feet... is 'and' needed, are '...' needed

pacing on tacks nice get away from the walking on nails cliché
my sentry runs circles of blood and elegant deceptions.
outdated, posted pictures of drawn lines,
charcoal scrubbed clean beneath the smudges and antediluvian calm
of spotless fingernails.
not sure antediluvian works as that period also encompassed the wiping out of man (apart from noa's crew) which i can't see as being calm, that said it was the beginning of time so it works in the metaphor, 'calm' just makes falter

chalked sidewalks talk beneath the facade
of grass
as phone lines serve for memory,
overgrown and silent.

the windowpane still beckons, is 'still' needed
precious little moonbeams rapping caffeine keys
as I type our story into bedtime ritual,
tucking frayed edges in against the cold.

*novelty*
I shudder.

hindsight of the first admission,
liquescent on the uncircumcised tongue
scraped and gasped into the midnight of staccato longing. not sure why but i struggled with this verse.

taptaptapping
lacing your message into DNA,
curling it as a ribbon upon scissor blades.

step away from the window... for me the poem ends here.

...we are sowing the wind with bad seed,
with apathetic ire and retributions. n

the last two lines feel a little trite for me
i like the the continuity of the theme throughout the poem. i got a sense of post apocalyptic, though i'm sure that's not case it worked as an added level for me. the title worked well with the body of the poem which i enjoyed. the window panes and moonlight in caffeine keys was a pretty image of being awake.

thanks for the read jmo.