Backseat

[billy]

I'd follow you. I would. Follow, I would. Down, deeper, down.
Past the six-step marker, the bones, thugs, and flies.
Past the twelve-minute lovers whose skin sears the pavement. for me Past adds nothing to the line
Long past the since-been jukebox flipped it's first record,
quite untimely, that I know of. 'Mancing and dancing, had to look up mancing, it's a great word
knees thrown overhead in sleazed, swiped, foggy-shine cars.
Past the church that's burned, alone, by itself,
humbly for thirty-three. For thirty-three times it stood.
I'd follow you. I would. Follow you I would. would a comma after the 2nd follow you elp the flow?

i like the title in relation to the poem.
i think i can see where you're going with the reiteration.
that said it does hinder the flow for me.
the lines 2 to 8 have good imagery, the remind me of dantes inferno and the levels of hell.

i enjoyed the poem and wish i had a woman like that who would follow me
i like that you're stepping outside the box to a certain extent as well.
thanks for the read. all jmo