Bountiful

[billy]

The roof of your mouth is like the rarest wine would a line break after 'mouth' or 'is' help the form?
that goes down
sweetly,
causing my lips in slumber
to speak your name
and thread our fires would fire work just as well?
through the sieve of time.

Your kisses, bountiful i like the enjambment on this line
overflow from soft full lips you've already used lips, is soft full lips needed,
like precious oils
and anointings on my head.

Cleave us to dust, not sure cleave works in making to dust.
so that we may rise in the East
and bless one another
in tenderness.

*still a work in progress, hoping to finish it by the 7th, as it is meant to be a gift. ANY feedback is appreciated. Eviscerate if necessary.

i see some butcher has already been eviskithingeeing?

mostly i have no evisking to do, a couple of nits for you to ponder is all.
the 1st twi lines work well.
not sure about the last verse as it feels a little vague
there's a good poem in there though.

thanks for the read