Remember: (Attempt at a Villanelle: )

[Leanne]

Actually, ignore the critic line. I was comparing its meter to some of the other first lines, and the one that's actually out is L1 of the last stanza.

viz:

Fair poetry needs no hearse

scans as:

(fair) POetry/ NEEDS no/ HEARSE

and then there's

CRITics should/ NEver wet/ NURSE

and

(to) FALSEly/ FEED is ad/VERSE

all of these lines are dactylic trimeter.

So I would suggest

BETter to/ NOT be per/VERSE

a tiny little switch of words and you're set.