The Ragged Stars

[billy]

"The stars were ragged in your
presence, dear."

Your lips, like lovingly
scalpeled roses. would 'rose petals' work better

Your eyes, the succinctly
corroded color of ruin. great couplet

Am I blind? Or am I
just so damn in love
that I could leave this
big green and blue uterus
without even knowing?

is this poem a POV poem as from a child in the womb?

if so i think it rocks in a big way.
the flow of it is spot on though for me the enjambment feels a little sticky. (which sounds like a contradiction but isn't) for me it flows well because i'm ignoring the enjambment.

the last verse is sublime and the rest is just cream on the top
with a really small edit this is ridiculously publishable from my POV
thanks for read. jmo