At The Deathbed

[addy]

Of course, I was the last to arrive at his bedside;
I feared him the most. Intriguing opening lines that really drew me in. Nicely done.
It made no difference that he was dying.
Dying would only make him more unpredictable.
“Christ, you are ugly” he might say.
or “I never liked you, anyway.”
That’s what I was thinking when I leaned over
to greet him. I like how revealing these lines are. It's not the fact that the narrator thinks these things, but it's that these specific thoughts come to his mind even as he looks at his dying father... that's what speaks volumes.

“Dad, it’s me.” I whispered dutifully,
hoping he wouldn’t wake;
but he did, his face brightening,
thinking his oldest son
was there to save him,
to take him home. At this point I think you've gone too long with a thought/POV narration... you need to bring more image devices in to carry the poem as well

He reached for my hand,
gripped it fiercely,
and threw one leg over the side of the bed.
I pretended to help him;
but I wanted him to stay there
and die without a fuss,
the way it’s done on TV. Wow, these last three lines were like a punch to the gut

His body slumped into the white sheets,
his eyes large with questions
and the realization
there was to be no escape. I don't think you need this whole stanza at all

He’d talked about his dying to me on the phone.
“It’s okay” he said, “I’m ready”
I was hoping he meant it;
but I could see he was terrified;
the thin thread of life slipping
from his hands.

As usual, I made this all about me,
and stood over him in shame;
I wanted to say something helpful;
but my tongue,
my tongue,
was ash. Poignant, painful place to end it. You kept vague whether not an emotional resolution between father and son would come after. Nicely done

I agree that the way it was written was pretty literal and almost didn't rely on imagery save for a few instances... more prose than poetry. But it's unique and beautiful, and very brave in the perspective it depicts... a son who has become callous but still sympathetic, more so in the face of death (even the narrators reaction to death intrigues me... a relief, a discomfort, something confusing and ineffable). That's a very hard balance,, and you do it well. Just a polish and this will be truly fantastic.