Bipolar

[billy]

The demented bray of a stung hyena. donkeys bray, hyena laugh and i don;t think it will conflict with the laughing on the next line. it may even reinforce it
Laughing at nothing, at a wall,
at a chair, considering the title, it's a good opening verse

moving through the alleyways
of stacked bookshelves, like a ghost
in a bad Gothic tome, is bad needed, it makes the line weaker

hissing and steaming like a kettle with mirth, for me it would work better with one or the other, or 'hissing steam like a ke....
rising from mills of sorrow, great line
a poppy on a battlefield. nice metaphor and glad there's no like which would make it a simile

Return then to the house of mourning, for me the 'then' gives it an archaic feel, would A return to... work as well?
an exchange of masks, the hurried actor
in a one man epic, playing both peasent and prince. nicely done, better than pauper and prince which it made me think of

Then as the brain wobbles and shatters like glass shatters like glass feels a little off for me
the encore goes on,
until all the players are dead. the last verse give it some sort of finality that leads to a re run.

not seen a bipolar poem like this before jack or as good as this.
most of my in-line comments are really nits.
i love that used peasant and prince and not prince and pauper as i stated. it makes that last two lines form an image i can collect and say mmm i know that . one man two people what a perfect metaphor for bipolar, much better than if you allowed it to be a simile as you oft do hehe.
i think when a line or verse can make us recollect a memory it works at it's optimum.

great 1st verse, and some really good lines throughout
it's fairly hard for me to find anything wrong enough to give solid feedback because as a rule i enjoy your style of poetry,

thanks for the read