03-23-2011, 04:41 PM
Thank you for your feedback and kind words Addy
I have a habit of using numerous similes, sometimes because "like" adds an extra word which improves the rhythm for me, and sometimes because it provides an easy segway into the comparison.
I agree with you about the brain thing. I had so much trouble thinking of a first line for that last stanza. The original was something about candy floss being churned.
Thanks again for your comment and I'm glad this poem read well to you; I was worried that it might seem sensational, a bit exploitative and overly romantic perhaps.
I have a habit of using numerous similes, sometimes because "like" adds an extra word which improves the rhythm for me, and sometimes because it provides an easy segway into the comparison.I agree with you about the brain thing. I had so much trouble thinking of a first line for that last stanza. The original was something about candy floss being churned.
Thanks again for your comment and I'm glad this poem read well to you; I was worried that it might seem sensational, a bit exploitative and overly romantic perhaps.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe