03-22-2011, 05:09 PM
personally in the 1st verse i think L4 should be L3.
the rest of the poem is excellent for me.
i like the observations made about the brother.
i love the last verse though think the 2nd a little cliche.
while being really telly it also shows. it gives insights as to how we view others,
how others view others and it#s feels pretty spot on. nicely done.
thanks for the read.
the rest of the poem is excellent for me.
i like the observations made about the brother.
i love the last verse though think the 2nd a little cliche.
while being really telly it also shows. it gives insights as to how we view others,
how others view others and it#s feels pretty spot on. nicely done.
thanks for the read.