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Gluttony
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03-07-2011, 07:13 PM
Thanks for your kind words and feedback Addy. To be honest I only added "fresh" in order to beef up the syllable count of that line. Would the couplet's weakness be less noticeable if I added the last line onto it and made a tercet?
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
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| Messages In This Thread |
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RE: Gluttony - by billy - 03-07-2011, 12:16 PM
RE: Gluttony - by heslopian - 03-07-2011, 12:21 PM
RE: Gluttony - by addy - 03-07-2011, 04:08 PM
RE: Gluttony - by heslopian - 03-07-2011, 07:13 PM
RE: Gluttony - by billy - 03-08-2011, 05:59 AM
RE: Gluttony - by heslopian - 03-08-2011, 06:06 AM
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