03-07-2011, 07:13 PM
Thanks for your kind words and feedback Addy. To be honest I only added "fresh" in order to beef up the syllable count of that line. Would the couplet's weakness be less noticeable if I added the last line onto it and made a tercet?
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe

