Ode to Villans (First draft)

[heslopian]

Small typo in the title. This is rather brilliant. For some reason it reminds me of John Betjeman, perhaps in the rhyme and four line stanzas coupled with a bleak wit. As for edits:

I'm going to add more to this. I just need a critique for what is here.
Thanks


I love all tales where villains win; A comma should really go here, if any punctuation at all.
Villains who, at story’s end,
Are on the right side of a gun- Again could a comma go here? Love this line.
Regardless of the ills they’ve done Full stop needed.

I love to watch the peasants weep
Or criminals outplay police Excellent half rhyme of weep and police. Nice linguistic trickery there.
Or goblins pouring through a gate
Or flames consume the king’s estate. In this verse would "and"s work better than the "or"s, with a comma following each line? I think that would create a heavier landscape of destruction.

And all the hero’s gallant dreams In this context as plural it should be "heroes".
Die beneath a guillotine; Again, an amazing half rhyme, and also a pleasent sound compare between "gallant" and "guillotine."
No matter book or film or play
The end is always best that way- A full stop would go better here.

Where not an ash of hope survives
No sequels, encores, seconds tries Should be "second". Other than that this is very witty.
The audience, as hush as stone- Should be "hushed."
Hands-in-pockets, shuffles home Great ending, I like that you rounded off this piece with an image of people going home. I find that quite clever somehow.