Ode to Villans (First draft)

[billy]

I'm going to add more to this. I just need a critique for what is here.
Thanks


I love all tales where villains win;
Villains who, at story’s end,
Are on the right side of a gun-
Regardless of the ills they’ve done we have the rhyme scheme and a decent opener

I love to watch the peasants weep
Or criminals outplay police
Or goblins pouring through a gate
Or flames consume the king’s estate. this one doesn't imply villans

And all the hero’s gallant dreams
Die beneath a guillotine;
No matter book or film or play
The end is always best that way-

Where not an ash of hope survives
No sequels, encores, seconds tries
The audience, as hush as stone-
Hands-in-pockets, shuffles home it's a slant rhyme at best

i haven't counted the meter but it reads okay, if i have a nit it's that it feels a little hallmarky. one of those rhyming poems that simply profess something yet has little real substance. i think each verse needs a simile or metaphor to take it out of the real of hall mark. i've read your poetry and i know you have a good imagination, and a good grasp of show don't tell. as it is reads well and flows well. for me it just needs a bit of depth. (jmo)