02-25-2011, 01:42 PM
Brilliant idea on this one, great food for thought to gnaw on. Upon reading the first few lines, I thought it would be slightly improved if the second line broke off into a second stanza to leave the first line floating, but as I read on I realized the poem [i]wasn't[i] about violence; or at least, not on the whole. i've heard it said that art is violence, and you've made the point perfectly here while giving it a unique lens and slant. This was a great read 
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?