Floorboards. A big revision

[billy]

Weed, or cookies?
....Or both?

neither; scotch pies for dinner tonight. hehe.
right here goes with the feedback.

first off i like the form change.

I do not trust my bedroom floor
At night, to wear a helpful form,
Its bowing boards, its croaking planks,
The nails that bind its rigid ranks
Must dissipate as night evolves
And shadows loiter shopping malls i like this line
And when the strands of streetlights sign not keen on the 2nd 'and'
The sidewalk with moronic lines struggling to understand moronic
Of hazy milk; I see the face
Of wood beneath my bed replace
Its boards with black, its nails with void
And any structure be destroyed,
The ceiling, zooming out of view
The windows shut themselves, and soon
I am alone.

the last 6 lines are much much stronger. i like the whole thing apart from the two nits. could another word be used instead of moronic?
it has acquired a poe feel to it it carries a lot more weight and for me depth. the closing, again for me is excellent.
see my other crits to make up the paragraphs i should be writing

all in all the poem has really been transformed and i think this edit is brave and successful

thanks for the read lawrence.