i thought the first line cliche...tile i read the second line. the 1st couplet works well.
the 2nd couplet is for me excellent.
if i have a real nit its the 3rd couplet, for me it feels a little too forced and overly poetical.
again i really like the 4th couplet, i get a feel of hells angels and it amuses me, though amusement probably wasn't your intention.
the 5th couplet for me needs beefing up. it feels a little weak.
the last two couplets work well.
nicely done jack, a few nits for me but nothing major.
all in all, a good write.
the 2nd couplet is for me excellent.
if i have a real nit its the 3rd couplet, for me it feels a little too forced and overly poetical.
again i really like the 4th couplet, i get a feel of hells angels and it amuses me, though amusement probably wasn't your intention.
the 5th couplet for me needs beefing up. it feels a little weak.
the last two couplets work well.
nicely done jack, a few nits for me but nothing major.
all in all, a good write.