12-08-2010, 10:36 PM
Crisp and crunchy short poem. This most certainly does not suck.
(12-04-2010, 01:35 PM)digna_sofia Wrote: One of two poems I wrote over the course of this week. I hope it doesn't suck too much.
At the very last day of every work week is an The rhythm stumbles a bit here. Would "each working week" instead of "every work week" improve the flow?
impatience
overwhelming Like the listing technique here.
landing on my shoulder and nipping at my ears.
Making every single word
as daunting as and ogre Typo: Should be "an ogre."
and every single phrase
another bridge to cross, Brilliant. Concise and unique.
the gnarled weekend grasps me.
It does not let me go.
Great last two lines. Effectively sinister.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe