11-20-2010, 01:51 PM
Thanks for your feedback and kind words, Billy
As Touchstone said, I think some individual phrases are good, but the central narrative is all over the place. I might try removing said phrases later, and sewing them into a better story.
I've since changed "Mexico" to "Third World," which I think is a tad more realistic.
I like your interpretation very much; it's another example of Harold Bloom's theory, I think, that the reader can sometimes have a better idea of what a poem is about than even the poet himself.
I'll add "standing guard" to the "deer hide armchairs" once I've finished this; I kind of like that appendage.
Thanks again for your lovely critique
As Touchstone said, I think some individual phrases are good, but the central narrative is all over the place. I might try removing said phrases later, and sewing them into a better story.I've since changed "Mexico" to "Third World," which I think is a tad more realistic.
I like your interpretation very much; it's another example of Harold Bloom's theory, I think, that the reader can sometimes have a better idea of what a poem is about than even the poet himself.
I'll add "standing guard" to the "deer hide armchairs" once I've finished this; I kind of like that appendage.
Thanks again for your lovely critique
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe