You Call Them Fairy Tales

[billy]

i think tacking the couplet to the end of the 2nd verse works perfectly.
it gives more depth and imagery to;

the hunger of darkness
that every child knows
to fear

now that verse is much stronger and better for it (for me)

for such a small edit i think you more than got yur money's worth.

and yes i think it ws wise to lose the teeth.

nicely done.