10-15-2010, 07:48 AM
Thanks for the feedback and kind words, billy
The original poem had this couplet: "And if I die before I wake/No crowds will mourn for me own sake." This was how the poem initially looked:
I don't think I shall ever be
A girl who folk'll pay to see.
And if I die before I wake,
No crowds will mourn for me own sake.
Can't sing, can't dance, won't spread me legs,
So now I'm 'ere among the "dregs,"
Washin' dishes day 'n' night,
But maybe it'll be alright:
I've got me man, me cosy flat,
And me darlin' rescue cat.
Don't need no kids, can pay the rent,
Afford a long weekend in Kent.
I thought the end was too truncated, and I didn't want a seventh verse, because Kilmer's original only had six. So I removed the second, which I thought was the least necessary, and then devised those last "God" lines. Looking back, they do seem quite contrived.
The original poem had this couplet: "And if I die before I wake/No crowds will mourn for me own sake." This was how the poem initially looked:I don't think I shall ever be
A girl who folk'll pay to see.
And if I die before I wake,
No crowds will mourn for me own sake.
Can't sing, can't dance, won't spread me legs,
So now I'm 'ere among the "dregs,"
Washin' dishes day 'n' night,
But maybe it'll be alright:
I've got me man, me cosy flat,
And me darlin' rescue cat.
Don't need no kids, can pay the rent,
Afford a long weekend in Kent.
I thought the end was too truncated, and I didn't want a seventh verse, because Kilmer's original only had six. So I removed the second, which I thought was the least necessary, and then devised those last "God" lines. Looking back, they do seem quite contrived.