Loss

[matsunosuperfan]

Loss

I’ve forgotten most of it
except how I wanted you,
the reader, to feel when the shadow fell
over my shoulder, to know my sudden startle
mistaking the change in light she might have made
for maybe a cloud’s passing or nothing
more than a lapse in the workings
of my hands as I tend the flowers.

The conceit is very compelling. I don't like the fourth-wall break; to me it distracts and makes me think the poem is going to constitute a project that, thankfully, it turns out not to be. 

"To know my sudden startle" I struggle with this syntax, feels poemy every time 

Everything from "mistaking the change in light" to the end is fantastic, I wouldn't change anything 

just need to get there more effectively IMO 
the final image is really affective and poignant without being too too, very well handled