Ode To MP3 Players

[aaminarrh]

Ode To MP3 Players

and cheap chinese speakers

intoning soullessly 'bluetooth device

is connected successfully'

I realized that a song always smells

like the first place your ears caught it

burning. A song always smells like

the breath of someone else

and it's a kind of magic

isn't it? to lift a song in

and out of your back pocket

to slap it like a band-aid,

over an open wound, over broken glass

to taste it like fresh heartbreak

on a monday morning, like orange molasses

steeped too long in sunlight

Hii, be warned I'm still getting the hang of this critiquing thing! 

 My favourite line / lines from this poem would include S4 L4 and 5. Orange molasses, steeped too long in sunlight, a really good visualisation of summer nostalgia and as a fellow mp3/walkman player this is exactly the vibes I am getting with this text, I feel like thats a skill to have and you achieved it. To describe the feeling of nostalgia as something harmful through similes and visualisation- like broken glass over open wounds it clearly pinpoints a feeling across to the audience. S4 also is structured in a way that gives it more emotional connection, ifykwim (I'm not good with describing things like this), L3 "Like fresh heartbreak" a pause before the next line, this line reminds me of being a child and feeling my first experience of heartbreak - it is vulnerable.

There are some difficulties in reading the poem, I feel like some of the word choices are out of place (only my opinion) such as S2, L3 - I've learnt from critiques from others on my poems that it needs to be seperated/formatted in the way you would be reading it, it feels disconnected to add a period and not start on the next line, this can be simply fixed by adding a comma or dash, or new line obviously but it was just how I read it that disconnected me. I felt like this poem shouldnt have started with and - considering the title, I do not think the and is necessary in S3 either, I feel like the same effect happens regardless of the 'and' inclusion.

Overall, I really like how the topic of this poem in general is very unique and specific, a lot of people can connect with it emotionally and I think you have used language amazingly to get that point of 'nostalgia reconnection' across. I done as much as I could to list my own cons and pros of the poem!