7 hours ago
Hi Greg and welcome to the site, if you can leave some feedback on other poems that would be excellent.
As for yours...
I like the concept and the first stanza is really interesting with some nice images, 'veins as bass strings'. It seems to get lost a bit when after talking about 'bass strings' you mention 'fingers force the keys down' without any reference to the change in instrument.
For me I would really like to see you expand upon the ideas of this first stanza as this would seem to be the main driving force for the poem. The ideas of 'freedom' tied with the birds to represent jazz could still be woven in throughout the poem but the first stanza for me is where it's at.
Cheers for sharing, I enjoyed the read.
As for yours...
I like the concept and the first stanza is really interesting with some nice images, 'veins as bass strings'. It seems to get lost a bit when after talking about 'bass strings' you mention 'fingers force the keys down' without any reference to the change in instrument.
For me I would really like to see you expand upon the ideas of this first stanza as this would seem to be the main driving force for the poem. The ideas of 'freedom' tied with the birds to represent jazz could still be woven in throughout the poem but the first stanza for me is where it's at.
Cheers for sharing, I enjoyed the read.
wae aye man ye radgie