Draft 2 - Post Rain Crepuscular

[thewilderhen]

Hey thewilderhen,

I cut some lines from the piece in hopes of focusing the poem and possibly heightening that tension. This was a poem more about a person's receiving of the sky and their embodiedness through the sky rather than the other way round. I hoped there would be other phrases that added to the metaphor of a second coming but maybe my job in that wasn't accomplished as well as I had thought.

Was the mention of "apocalypse" alone what lent some hint of violence to the opening line?

Heyo! Subject gets introduced relatively late in the poem, then. Re: violence. Just the way the consonants are. The hissing sounds of “this is”, the voiced fricatives in apocalypse. The calling of attention to red as the color of the sky. Like it. Keep at it.