02-26-2025, 07:29 PM
some small notes
Hidden inside by our window - would remove "inside"
we marvel at how they work
with shared purpose - would add a comma
gathering sticks and stems
from frigid ground - would add "the"
to build a sturdy nest.
We cheer on the urgency
of their song - would add a comma
their call and response
singing life into the yard.
They remind me, darling - somewhat dislike the last two lines, as they feel kinda....idk, incomplete? some sort of cop out? but retaining them as they are, i would add a comma here
of what we are.
Hidden inside by our window - would remove "inside"
we marvel at how they work
with shared purpose - would add a comma
gathering sticks and stems
from frigid ground - would add "the"
to build a sturdy nest.
We cheer on the urgency
of their song - would add a comma
their call and response
singing life into the yard.
They remind me, darling - somewhat dislike the last two lines, as they feel kinda....idk, incomplete? some sort of cop out? but retaining them as they are, i would add a comma here
of what we are.