Holiday Lights

[Bunx]

Holiday Lights

I can tell the seasons apart 
from the holiday lights 
in my neighbor's window.
A shamrock tells me
I've been sober for eight months.

Everyone compromises to survive.
Is loss diplomacy does anyone care?
Exiled naturally, genes reeked havock.
Giving up smoking, drinking, everything
was easy compared to my crash.

Count your blessings, a laughable cliche.
No one wants a crippled sheep
or a shepard in a foreign land. 
What I want is to get past memories
prescribed every morning.

Getting my medication changed 
was the worst decision I never made.
There's no roadmap to conquer trauma.
Nor a bandage that mends scars
that linger with words unsaid.

Nothing is worse then the punishment 
one can give to themselves.
All those past lessons seem to melt
every time I wish I was someone else.
Decisions to my decline weren't mine.

When the take away is life is hard
is there a reason to write that down?
Healing implies that your sick 
and so does madness.
There is just one you can't cure.

Being my age having no idea what's ahead
I wonder what lights will be
on my neighbors house next month.
Hopefully they don't remind me
of my sobriety.