02-14-2025, 01:46 PM
“ It hurts too much
To see your face, to feel your touch
To never understand what’s true
And what is not really you…”
Is quite good
Kudos on your first attempt. It’s quite good for a first attempt
You may want to focus on cutting down the peon to half its length and distilling your message into those fewer lines to increase their potency.
To see your face, to feel your touch
To never understand what’s true
And what is not really you…”
Is quite good
Kudos on your first attempt. It’s quite good for a first attempt
You may want to focus on cutting down the peon to half its length and distilling your message into those fewer lines to increase their potency.