Friends and Feelings
#6
Hey Bunx. Good to see you. I just wanted to jump in with a boring edit for you to think about. I will only tackle the first section.
Punctuation is so hard to master and I'm still a student. I think the first bit should be punctuated thusly...

"Do you ever develop feelings 
for your friends?",

my co worker asked casually,
folding up bags of coffee
at a productive pace.

Otherwise "My co worker asked..." sounds like a new and incomplete idea. 
I'm not the expert on punctuation but it does matter and editing one poem improves the next. 
Duke is really good with grammar and punctuation. He's kindly corrected me several times. 


(04-22-2024, 01:40 AM)Bunx Wrote:  FRIENDS

"Do you ever develop feelings 
for your friends?"

My co worker asked casually 
folding up bags of coffee
at a productive pace.

Being a bi man, it's not
too tough to avoid
binaries within friends.

"Yeah, it's funny you mention. I've 
been feeling a little heart break since
my best friend Sarah

(They heard her name
an immeasurable amount since 
she moved back.)

moved back home
to spend some time traveling."


FEELINGS

I wear these feelings
like the handmade beanies
she made me for watching
her cat.

Folks compliment every hat
she made for me.

"Thanks,
my best friend made it."

After she left. 
I grew to like the things
she crocheted even more.

I look at her old apartment,
blocks away from mine
Everytime I drive to work.

A reminder,
love is not always a thing
felt after a kiss,

or under the sheets 
of a room you've 
hardly been in.

Love is something you choose,
a place you want to be. 

Someone that wants you to be there.

When she sees
me crying on her last night
in town,

she won't let me go
without a second long hug.

Leaving me better off 
for being there.
Reply


Messages In This Thread
Friends and Feelings - by Bunx - 04-22-2024, 01:40 AM
RE: Friends and Feelings - by Wjames - 04-22-2024, 04:07 AM
RE: Friends and Feelings - by Bunx - 04-22-2024, 04:23 AM
RE: Friends and Feelings - by busker - 04-22-2024, 07:16 AM
RE: Friends and Feelings - by Bunx - 04-22-2024, 10:42 AM
RE: Friends and Feelings - by Tiger the Lion - 04-22-2024, 01:37 PM
RE: Friends and Feelings - by Bunx - 04-23-2024, 01:11 AM
RE: Friends and Feelings - by Wjames - 06-01-2024, 03:12 AM
RE: Friends and Feelings - by Bunx - 06-01-2024, 02:29 AM
RE: Friends and Feelings - by Bunx - 06-01-2024, 05:08 AM



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