12-09-2023, 06:08 AM
Uncle Kev
my first memory; agreed this is an amateurish opening - I'm on it
his thin white muscular legs,
running yes. a bit of a placeholder till I find the phrasing I want
a rain-sopped #5 leather football
no one would dare play with today
(I'm concussed just thinking about it)
a curled corner
and a diving header
into the summer slop
and into the back of the net it's possible these lines are for a narrow audience
everyone shouting, "Get in!" "Get in!" is somewhat colloquial, shouted after the goal goes in - a kind of reinforcement Cheeky Brits doing it backwards
everyone shouting
everyone the last lines were meant to show a wider heroism, glad you like it - not sure if I nailed it though
[/quote]
Some of the word choices are tricky because it needs to be Northern English. It needs to be Evertonian or it won't work.
I feel like I'm half done. Thanks for the direction guys.
[/quote]
Can't help you with the vernacular. Although, I have watched 'Ted Lasso' several times. The heart of my comments stemmed from my interpretation that Uncle Kev met his demise heading the ball in and then the crowd's slow realization that something was wrong. The single line about concussions was the main thing that got me going that way.
Anyway, sorry about your Uncle
bryn
my first memory; agreed this is an amateurish opening - I'm on it
his thin white muscular legs,
running yes. a bit of a placeholder till I find the phrasing I want
a rain-sopped #5 leather football
no one would dare play with today
(I'm concussed just thinking about it)
a curled corner
and a diving header
into the summer slop
and into the back of the net it's possible these lines are for a narrow audience
everyone shouting, "Get in!" "Get in!" is somewhat colloquial, shouted after the goal goes in - a kind of reinforcement Cheeky Brits doing it backwards
everyone shouting
everyone the last lines were meant to show a wider heroism, glad you like it - not sure if I nailed it though
[/quote]
Some of the word choices are tricky because it needs to be Northern English. It needs to be Evertonian or it won't work.
I feel like I'm half done. Thanks for the direction guys.[/quote]
Can't help you with the vernacular. Although, I have watched 'Ted Lasso' several times. The heart of my comments stemmed from my interpretation that Uncle Kev met his demise heading the ball in and then the crowd's slow realization that something was wrong. The single line about concussions was the main thing that got me going that way.
Anyway, sorry about your Uncle
bryn