12-07-2023, 11:22 AM
Hey Tiger, I do think the edit makes it a lot clearer what is going on with the cheating.
If you read the first version carefully you could sort see what was implied (why would they text you that immediately after you left?) but it's easy to miss.
I like the title a lot, it makes me think of a guy complaining about their wife at the pub.
I agree about looking at old poems, when a poem is fresh it can be difficult to see it objectively - you know why each word was put where. After a few months and I forget everything you were thinking while writing, I can see things a little clearer.
If you read the first version carefully you could sort see what was implied (why would they text you that immediately after you left?) but it's easy to miss.
I like the title a lot, it makes me think of a guy complaining about their wife at the pub.
I agree about looking at old poems, when a poem is fresh it can be difficult to see it objectively - you know why each word was put where. After a few months and I forget everything you were thinking while writing, I can see things a little clearer.