All That's Left
#7
(10-30-2023, 09:17 PM)TranquillityBase Wrote:  All That’s Left

Words my dog taught me 
shrink night down to a size
I can grasp with one hand. This is a really interesting sentence. I wonder if 'thoughts' might be better than 'words' to open - I have communicated with dogs, but they have never taught me words. Or maybe, just "My dog taught me" as the opening line and "to" added below?
With the other I reach out
to manipulate free encounters
that make the game worth playing To my read, I see playing a video game on your phone and manipulating the game mechanics to succeed/progress - and obviously a nice metaphor about life.
because no one is watching 
where my dog lies sleeping. The narrators distractions that help them get through life (the phone game) are distracting them from the kind of thing that really helps one really live a good life (the dog, connection etc).
Hey Tranquil, I like this one - just my thoughts on it after a few reads - the only crit I really have is the word "words". It may not be about a phone game, but that's the image that came to my mind.
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Messages In This Thread
All That's Left - by TranquillityBase - 10-30-2023, 09:17 PM
RE: All That's Left - by rayheinrich - 10-30-2023, 10:00 PM
RE: All That's Left - by TranquillityBase - 10-30-2023, 10:08 PM
RE: All That's Left - by Lizzie - 10-31-2023, 03:46 AM
RE: All That's Left - by Fearful Symmetry - 10-31-2023, 06:52 AM
RE: All That's Left - by TranquillityBase - 10-31-2023, 09:14 AM
RE: All That's Left - by Wjames - 10-31-2023, 02:30 PM



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