The Five O'Clock Sun (revised)

[Mark A Becker]

Hello again Tim-
You know me- edit means reduce, and I've reduced without changing a word:

Five O’Clock

The dog and I sit  Your dog's name could supply a bit of detail. Folks may guess you mean a dog, or not.
listless on the stone patio
anticipating dusk, after
sheltering from unbroken heat,
only to retreat again
to air conditioned asylum.

Five o’clock is the signal
for subdued rejoicing-
twilight rising 
from the ground up. a geographic location in this stanza could help, eg San Antonio, or other specific town
Clouds in the west build walls Along a mountain range? Another location detail could help.
against the pitiless sun.