Consanguinity
#2
(03-16-2023, 01:12 AM)Mark A Becker Wrote:  Consanguinity

We drew blood
from a finger,
then hooked them
together-
blood brothers
forever.

We were only 10
then, sanguine
of days ahead,
not knowing
there would be
so much more
blood
yet to be shed.

I still visit you
from time to time,
thinking
of our hours,
what might have been-
then I leave
some flowers,
bow my head,
talk to the wind.
Well expressed.  My detail hobgoblin was not at all confused by which (a) finger was lanced since two are required to hook - obviously, the same finger on each person's hand, specifying which (trigger, social, or pinkie) unnecessary.  Avaunt, hobgoblin!  Simplifiers might object that "yet" and even "blood" could be omitted, but they drive the rhythm forward haltingly, which is appropriate.  The shift from the normal meaning of the title is clever.
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Messages In This Thread
Consanguinity - by Mark A Becker - 03-16-2023, 01:12 AM
RE: Consanguinity - by dukealien - 03-17-2023, 04:22 AM
RE: Consanguinity - by Mark A Becker - 03-18-2023, 03:08 AM



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